


A hand in his hair

by Bagel_San



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: F/M, Idk how to describe this, Manipulation, Smut, Toxic love, definitely a dark undertone though, it's definitely on the soft side, set in chapter 101, the usual with akigure., this is a weird fluff-angst-smut mixture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:27:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagel_San/pseuds/Bagel_San
Summary: “I’ve never said I won’t do that, Akito.”Her name rolls off his tongue all naturally and yet, he knows that it’s a miracle he’s allowed to have her this way.This is going against his plan. Everything he’s going to do is destroying it, makes it clear that he loves her and adores her and would never give her up for anything in this ugly world.[set in chapter 101]
Relationships: Sohma Akito/Sohma Shigure
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	A hand in his hair

**Author's Note:**

> so this is  
> uh  
> 3.6k of smut, right. There's bit of a dom-sub undertone, especially in the beginning, so if that isn't your thing, you might not want to read. (then again I have not met one akigure shipper who hates it lmfao)
> 
> other than this, it's more or less a bit experimental. while my other os "important business" was def on the more. kinky side I dare say. this is extremely soft in comparison but I do think that's possible even with those two. Yes, even in canon imo so uuuuuh  
> still very experimental and I have to say: writing akito and Shigure having any kind of softer sex in canon was one of the hardest things I've ever done and I swear to god, that was a challenge and I'll never do it again.
> 
> have fun I guess :')

“Oh, you’re not in a good mood today, I see”, he snarls, almost casting a pitying glance on her. She’s weak. Weaker than anyone else he knows.

“I’d better be going.”

A hand reaches out for him just as he’s turning around, grasping onto his shoulder with a force that’s undoubtedly fueled by despair, by the need of having to hold on to him.  
He’s stopped mid-track. No matter how much he pretends to hate her, how much he _tries_ to hate her, he doesn’t ever succeed. He’s drawn back to her like a moth to the flame, again and again even when he knows it would be for the better to leave.

Akito’s other hand grasps at his chest, tearing at the kimono – and even though her fingers are digging into his body, it’s almost… gentle.  
Her hands are warm despite all the hate stored inside of her, all the fear tearing at her unstable heart. 

She stands up onto her tip-toes and he wants to leave because if he gives in, chance is that the curse may break slower, that he has to wait longer to experience all of her, to have her for himself only.

But she’s his God.   
He can’t go against her.

The next thing Shigure feels is her lips being pressed against the corner of his own ever so softly, it’s barely even a kiss at this point, just a brushing of skin against skin.  
His stomach turns around and for a moment it’s hard to tell whether he’s feeling sick or if those are the butterflies he still gets every damn time she gets close to him like this. 

And shit, it’s been so long, her body pressing up against his like this hurts in so many ways that he can’t even count them anymore.

The fingers are brushing against his cheek when her lips part and he breathes in all of her at once, smells the slight stench of perfume on her neck – the feeling goes right through his gut.

And he loses.  
He loses to himself once again, postpones his goal, ends up giving in because _she’s got this power over him_.

“You want me to deny that you’re a girl for the sake of other’s”, he rasps out, his voice rough because of all the feelings inside of him breaking out, “yet, you immediately use the fact that you’re a female if it’s for your own good.”

Despite his words, his hand grabs her tie, moving on its own to get closer to her, to feel her because he hasn’t done so in such a long time.

His body heats up to the point of everything overflowing and if he wasn’t so used to controlling and hiding his emotions behind layers and layers of malice, he actually would have cried.   
He claws at the rough clough and tears it off, pressing against her as much as possible in the process. She’s holding onto him.

For the first time in forever.

Shigure doesn’t have problems finding other women, but no matter who he tries to sleep with or ends up sharing a bed with, nothing could ever compare to her.

She’s small, delicate, easy to break like a flower-  
No, that isn’t right. Akito has broken a long time ago, already, when Kureno’s curse broke and he was set free as the first and the only one.  
He wants to be able to leave her, too, but he knows it will never be the case. Shigure is more cursed than everyone else – he’s destined to stay with her, forever, because his heart is yearning for it with everything he’s got.

She opens her eyes slowly and for a moment they remain in this position, him breathing way harder than he wants to admit, her breath almost calm in comparison to before.  
For years, he has been questioning how her eyes managed to captivate him like this every time, why they still looked so beautiful after he had gazed into them for hours, days, probably, if it was added up.

He can’t stand it a moment longer.

To his surprise, she says nothing at all, instead, she just tumbles backwards, her knees giving in and he presses her against the nearest wall, captures her lips in his as fast as he somewhat can.

Judging by her reactions, she is just as desperate as he is.

Shigure wants to savour the moment, wants to burn it into his memory because it’s been over a year that they’ve slept together, that he’s felt her body shivering below his; his body doesn’t follow his heart.

He rips the tie off and it falls onto the floor with a soft sound, Akito’s hands fumble with the kimono but her fingers are trembling too hard to pull it off. For now, Shigure doesn’t care.  
All he wants is give in to this almost _animalistic_ instinct, so he does.  
The curse will break. He will push her away just after this. 

“Shi-“, she mouths into the kiss but she doesn’t get past this single syllable when he takes ahold of her head, grabs her hair just a little too hard until the point he knows it must hurt.  
Judging by the shaky breath escaping her throat, it _does_.

“Shut up”, he hisses and kisses her even harder than before. Her body goes almost limp, then it tenses up and her hands are holding onto him blindly again, his tongue slips past her lips and she tastes like sake and roses and blood and he’s getting drunk on it.

She doesn’t say more, simply obliges.  
Akito wants this just as much as he does.

He opens the buttons of the shirt one by one, almost ripping off one of them in the process.  
She hooks one of her legs around him and he grabs both, feeling the soft flesh below her pants, pulls her up until her legs are wrapped around his hips and he’s got her pressed against the wall, trapped, completely in his grasp.

He leans her forehead against hers, cradling her face in his hands gently, but he pushes one fingernail into her temple so that she knows who she is.  
That she remembers it’s him and not Kureno.

“Oh?”, he asks as she brushes his kimono off his shoulder as far as she can, “was Kureno not enough for you, Akito?”

Her breath hitches in her throat and he drags the nail down her cheek, along her cheek bone, down to her chin and then along her neck. It’s not enough to leave more than a light-red trail – not that he could see it in the darkness of the room, anyways.   
He feels a smirk coming to his face.  
He wants to destroy her in so many ways that she can’t even imagine, can’t even fathom. 

“That’s- unfair”, she says and only now he realizes how warm her body really is, how this is real and it’s happening and he’s going to have all of her in a few minutes.

“Is it really?”

He’s the superior one in their relationship despite her being God and he’s aware of it. Shigure knows well enough that he has her in the palm of his hand, that she’s just a puppet playing along with his strings because she’s too stuck in her fear of being left.  
So, she takes everything she can get.  
Including him.

“Can we not discuss this for _one second_?”, she scowls and he takes a small step closer to the wall, raises her up higher so that he can reach her neck with his lips.

He bites until she winces and sucks until her skin is burning, a deep purple spreading across it as a sign to whom she belongs to.  
To whom he belongs to.  
He’s bound to her for eternity and not even Kureno is able to change that.

“Tell me what you want then”, he says into her throat and a single hand reaches for his chin, raises it up to hers, reminding her that at this point, she’s still above him and he will do whatever she wants anyways.  
Because that’s what the curse does.

“Just make me forget everything you’ve done for one single night.”

And that’s all he needs to know.  
He doesn’t need more to be thrown over the edge and give in to what he has wanted to do for years.

She yelps in surprise when he picks her up bridal style carefully – she’s surprised because he barely ever does that. They haven’t done this in a long time, but usually it’s all rough and quick and possessive.   
And it would have been the same case now if she hadn’t said that.

“Shigure”, she whispers as he puts her down onto the floor, puts his hands to her waist and then kneels down between her legs, “what are you _doing_?”

He leans down to her, captures her lips again.

“You asked me to make you forget everything else. If I fuck you, everything’s just going to be the same.”

“But- I swear, Shigure, if you decide to not sleep with me now of all things-“

Again, he’s tempted to mention how Kureno apparently wasn’t a good substitute for him. How he didn’t handle her as well as he did.

“I’ve never said I won’t do that, Akito.”

Her name rolls off his tongue all naturally and yet, he knows that it’s a miracle he’s allowed to have her this way.   
This is going against his plan. Everything he’s going to do is destroying it, makes it clear that he loves her and adores her and would never give her up for anything in this ugly world.

“But-“

“Be quiet or I might change my mind and take you right here, right now.”

“Well, I wouldn’t _care_!”, she says and he simply leans towards her throat now, placing soft kisses on the purple spot. He doesn’t regret that – he never would. He knows that she likes it rough just as much as he does, and his body was yearning for relief, but then again he really just wants to _make love_ to her for one single time, to know what he’s doing all of this for.  
To have at least some kind of motivation to keep him going despite all the hardships he’s facing back at his home with those kids.

“You asked for it.”

She shivers when his hands creep towards the hem of her pants, trail over her naked chest in the process, then over her hip bones.   
Her hands that were on the floor until a moment ago are now on his back, finally managing to pull off his kimono again. It slides to the floor, getting tangled in his legs.

“No, seriously, what are you doing?”

She’s not opposed to anything he does, but now it’s clear that she isn’t used to it either. Not with him, at least.  
He doubts Kureno does more than the most necessary things.  
Shigure kisses her collarbone, savours every single curve of the fragile bone beneath the soft skin, ghosts over it and blows air on the sensitive skin above.

“I’ve told you already. You’re always on my mind. That is the honest, unshakable truth.”

He hopes that she gets the message behind those word, the meaning that has been hiding in them ever since.

_I love you._

He’s able to make out the faintest blush on her cheek. She knows.

He opens the button of her pants, slowly slides them over her hips, together with her underwear and when they’re down far enough, she kicks them off.  
She’s beautiful. More than any woman he’s ever been with.  
More than Ren, by far.  
Maybe she’s not what other men would call beautiful – her chest is small, her hips aren’t necessarily broad, she’s skinny and on top of that, violent.

He’s never loved someone else.   
Because of one simple dream he had as a child, he had never been able to look at another woman like he’s looking at her.

She doesn’t respond, just wraps her legs around his, trying to get closer, but he takes her hand, puts it to his lips.  
Kisses it.

“Impatient?”

“Well, I have no idea what you’re doing.”

“You mean because you’re only used to us having quick hook-ups out of hatred and annoyance?”

She bites her lip, bucks into his hand when his finger glides past her abdomen, a smile appears on his face.  
Shigure never loses composure. But now that he’s started being honest to her for once, for this single night, now that he’s touching her ever so lightly instead of handling her roughly – he doesn’t know if he can ever go back.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Her breath hitches in her throat when his hand eventually slides between her legs and she lets out a soft moan when his thumb starts rubbing.  
He has done that already – but not that carefully.  
She breaks apart because of this single finger on her and he learns that she actually likes it this way. Slow and careful.   
Well, he supposes that she likes both.

“Shi-gure.” Her legs twitch and she closes her eyes, rolls her hips into his thumb once.

“Your legs are trembling”, he states, and she flinches at that, a full-on blush spreading across her face at the mention now, “how cute.”

He’s sworn to himself to not call her cute as to not make her think of her as a father figure. But when they’re like this, she will most probably not think that, will she?  
It’s ok.  
The curse is breaking and Kureno is prove for it, no matter how much he may hate this man.  
Akito takes his hand away from her and blinks, her eyes glazed by tears, her other hand reaches for his face.

“I didn’t want you to handle me like some kind of virgin who knows nothing about sex”, she whispers and still, she starts crying and the only thing that makes sense to him right now is to take her hand into his.  
Still, he’s almost disgusted by that comment. It’s not that he thinks that way about her – oh, after all their previous nights together, most definitely not. But for once, he just wants to show her how it could be if she fully accepted him into his life, show her that he truly did love her despite all of his actions in the past and future.

“Akito.”

“What?”, she says, wipes away her own tears.

She’s afraid of change. And this right here would mean change.

“Can’t we both just give in for one single night?”

This is so unlike him and Shigure knows it, but his body hurts, he’s either going to leave now to take care of that or do it with her. Maybe it’s Tohru’s fault. That girl made him soft. Maybe it’s Akito’s fault for telling him to make her forget everything.

“Fine”, she eventually says, she’s still crying and he knows that it’s because she felt it in his actions – all the love he’s had for all those years, that he’d stored up and locked away so that the curse would break.  
It was only a matter of time now.  
This was their last banquet.

“Stop crying, will you?”, he whispers and leans in to steal another kiss, lets his hand glide back to where it was before.

She sighs and a smile slips to her lips for a moment. He’s drawing circles, her hips move in sync with him and it takes a few seconds until a soft sigh escapes her throat. 

He has nothing left to lose now. He’s got her just as he’s always wanted her.  
Of course he enjoys it rough too – probably more than this. But this is a change of scene for once, he can actually feel that she likes him for more than just sex, that she likes him as a man and not as a father figure.  
And this is what he’s been longing for since he had fallen in love with her. To have that certainty.

“Is this ok?”

She giggles, just like a girl, just who she really should be, and it shifts into a lower moan when he speeds up in the slightest.

The hand on his cheek slips into his hair and grabs it for hold.

“You’ve never… asked that before”, she states and her legs are starting to tremble again, he feels the wetness against the palm of his hand, a painful throb goes through his entire body.  
He needs her. 

“Well, now I am”, he says, his breath shaking, and his own hips move involuntarily when she rolls hers upwards and his finger slips into her without really meaning to, there’s a slight grin on her face.

“Shigure. I need you.”

And that does it. He takes off his own boxers, she wraps her legs around his and kisses him. Again, on the corner of his lip. As if to remind him of everything that has led to this.  
That this softness, this _love_ between them would only last for this night  
That there’s so many unresolved issues between them.  
That the curse is still there, binding his very soul to hers in ways that others could never understand.

“I did want to draw this out longer”, he grumbles. And it’s true. He wants to feel this love for the longest time possible, but his body can’t stand it any longer, not when she’s pressing up against him-

“Please”, she whimpers and that’s what ultimately does it.

He slides into her, thinks that yes, this is how it’s supposed to be. This closeness is what they’re destined for and a hand in his hair desperately grasping at it is perfect. Even her other hand on his back, fingernails digging into it, makes something inside of him feel exactly as if this was the dream from back then.

Usually, he would be fucking her senseless by now, until she would be screaming in pleasure underneath him, but all he does is cradle her head in his arm, pressing his cheek against hers.  
Her entire body is trembling, her cheeks are tinted red, she’s clenching around him even though he’s barely moving.

“I’m not going to last long”, she mewls and god, he’s never seen her like that before.  
She’s every bit as vulnerable as anyone would be in that situation, yet she seems so much stronger than usually.

If he’s going to marry her, she better be a strong woman. But for that, he needs to push her past the breaking point. Someone else needs to push her past that point where her heart shatters so that she can properly pick it up and piece it back together again, make adjustments here and there to finally find her place in life.  
Maybe, just maybe, Tohru would be able to. On the other side, however, he can’t let her get too close to her.  
He started caring too much about Tohru.

“Shigure”, she whines again, presses up against him and he starts moving, slowly, feels her body go rigid and her fingernails hurt him and then she moans.  
He’s never heard her moan like that before.

Usually, even her moans are violent, loud and uninhibited, making his ears ring.  
But this is raw, her voice breaks, every single movement intensifies her pleasure, as it seems, his instincts take over and he picks up the pace.

The next thing to break from her lips is a sob, but it isn’t pained at all – simply because of how good it feels.

He kisses her neck, pulls her closer, sees how her eyes flutter shut from the corner of his own. 

She’s not the only one who’s close.

This feels strange, it’s weird that this situation is so much _less_ than what they usually do, but here they are, breaking apart because of a single emotion.

Shigure’s only ever had sex with her out of spite, out of the need to be close to her and show how he, too, can be dominant.

But this is mutual, this feeling they share is mutual and it leaves him breathless, drives him over the edge way too fast.

“I-“, she sobs again, the sounds of their bodies colliding and her so desperately holding on to him make him realize that shit, this is what he’s always wanted.

Everything he’s always wanted was for her to love him back and now that it’s almost as clear as day, he can’t even begin to describe how it makes him feel.

She comes almost quietly. It’s just her hips snapping up against his, her muscles tensing around him, throwing him over the edge too, it’s a hand in his hair and one on his back.

And it’s perfect just as it is.

Surely, they’ve had better sex. He’s felt more explosions inside of him, he’s seen her so lost in pleasure that she could barely even hold onto him anymore like she is now.

But this is raw.

This proves what they both feel to each other despite Kureno, despite Ren, despite the curse.

He lies down next to her, still holding her close.  
None of them say anything.

He knows that if he breaks this silence, she’d be right to being all snarky and violent and full of lies.  
She knows that if she breaks this silence, he’d be right back to insulting her and making her cry.

They stay still until she falls asleep and he places his kimono over her, then gets dressed as much as necessary to not freeze to death in this room.

He looks at her sleeping frame, her face almost angelic, almost innocent now.  
She’s a liar and he is, too.  
That’s what they’re both best at. He puts his shell back where it belongs, hides his feelings back where they belong. He will break the curse. As quickly as possible.

To have all of her, just like this.


End file.
